Love First: A New Approach to Intervention for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction

Jeff Jay and Debra Jay

ISBN 1-56838-521-8

Amazon Link

From the introduction:

“Intervention is the most effective technique that families can use to help a loved one suffering from chemical dependency. It is also the most ignored. Through our work in intervention, we have found that love is a powerful force when confronting addiction. In the past, expressions of love were delegated to a few brief sentences during an intervention. We’ve learned that when we expand the role of love, it is love, rather then toughness, that first breaks through denial.”

Section One Insights into Alcoholism and Other Drug Addictions

The topics in section one include understanding how the addict has been able to keep loved ones off balance and eleven misconceptions about chemical dependency.

Section Two Understanding Family Responses

Combining love with denial gives us innocent enabling, but this section begins teaching about detachment and the power of the group.

Section Three Preparing for an Intervention

“The process of preparing the groundwork for the intervention are in this section. Putting a team together for the intervention includes having no fewer than 3 people on your team and no more than 8 people. Be sure to include people that are positive influencers and include no one who is chemically dependent also. Each team member will write a one page summary of how the chemical dependency affected him/her and the relationship.”

You will be having a rehearsal so that all the group members can help each other to stay focused and in love and compassion rather than judgment.

“During your initial meetings with your team, choose a detail person who is organized and willing to act as a liaison between team members. The detail person’s two most important jobs are to keep communications flowing and to compile information.

“Intervention isn’t complicated, but it requires knowledge and careful preparation. First learn what you need to know. Then plan and prepare.”

Section Three Preparing for an Intervention

This section gives complete, detailed information about preparing for an intervention.

Section Four The Intervention

The authors gives details about what an intervention looks like.

Section Five

This section focuses on what happens after the intervention from the viewpoint that the addict agrees to seek help. It also talks about the possibility of relapse.

Section Six Tools

The tools section includes building a team, the planner, the checklist, enabling behaviors, evaluating treatment centers, objections and answers, bottom lines, self-quizzes about addiction, and the Jellinek Curve.

The appendixes include the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and other resources.

By CarbonNYC

Everyone has many personality labels yet most of us resist being labeled. Over a lifetime, we each will have hundreds of labels because we have unique life experiences. The main way that we learn our labels is from others. We generally resist these learnings as it feels that the labels have a negative connotation. Yet most of our labels are positive and negative at the same time.

We each love to learn about ourselves. But we pretend that we don’t want to know. It is the same maneuver we use to view a group picture that includes us. While oohing and aahing over all the other group members, we are secretly gazing at ourselves. Most of the labels used by counselors are unknown by clients.

The Changemaker Test, which is meant as a vehicle for self-discovery, includes the labels used in NLP (neurolinguistic programming), birth order, family roles, emotional energies, and MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator). Also included are the labels for the Big Five Test, enneagram, and transactional analysis.

Changemaker is committed to the basic belief that each person has the opportunity for self-discovery and the potential for self-healing. As individuals, we sometimes choose paths that may be harmful to us. To get off that path and onto a new road takes exploration and experimentation.

The Changemaker Test offers education for self-discovery as Changemaker believes that the change within a person involves the courage to see (insight) and the courage to act (action). The Changemaker Test will teach anyone 10 labels about themselves. Therefore, by using the labels to change themselves, the changemaker is the person who decides to learn and make the change happen.

Through Changemaker Groups, we provide short-term specialized direction and solutions to help others to better understand themselves and ourselves.. With this direction and self-knowledge others will learn to implement techniques designed to lead to greater self-mastery.

Groups are the recognized best method for people to gain information and acceptance from others. One of the main underpinings of AA is that all members are peers. Anyone has the opportunity to share and to be heard.

In Changemaker groups, the group leader leads only by getting the group together. By caring for others, the group members can learn as well as teach self-discovery. The group leader/leaders may choose to charge or ask for donations to pay for the meeting room and materials.

To lead education groups, Changemaker groups, the only requirement for the business is to have an occupational license to run a business. Changemaker groups are not therapy groups so no other license is required.

Changemaker groups are grow groups as the members have a desire for self-discovery. The groups may be a group who never formally meet but instead are joined together in a virtual group. They may choose to come together by some basic personality labels in common. They also may exchange email addresses, instant messaging addresses or meet in a chat room.

Group techniques for Changemaker groups may include:

1. Keep group size from 8-12 members.

2. Always have two or more group leaders. A group dies from within if one person dominates the group. Remember that health is based on the balance of power between the members. If the same person dominates the group, the group should ask that member not to talk or control the next session. By sitting and listening, the member will be reminded that a good leader is first of all a good follower.

3. Attendance is vital for the group. If a group member has to miss a meeting, at the next meeting, the member should ask for the forgiveness of the group and explain the nature of the absence. Every group member brings something unique to the group. I believe that no more than one absence should be allowed because the groups need to be structured. Discipline shows respect. If more than one absence is necessary, that group member should withdraw with the pledge to keep the confidences of the group.

4. Each group will be receiving new members throughout the life of the group. The only constant for the group should be the size of 8-12 members. A healthy group will have conflict. It is how the conflict is addressed and dealt with that determines the health of the group.

5. Some groups keep an extra empty chair to symbolize that the only constant is change. The empty chair serves to remind the group to stay open to receive new members.

Basic group techniques:

Introduction of group members (we’ve included links for ice-breakers from the Internet that you may want to use).

The Changemaker Personality Profile may be used to learn similarities and differences among the group members. Have group members get into other smaller groups with the individual personality labels from the test.

Music during group (see separate music list). Music will be played during the physical and meditation techniques.

Stress reduction—good health is a feeling of well-being.

Recognizing stress: physical signs—emotional—overindulgence

Learning to relax in middle of stress—how one responds to stress

Relaxation techniques: place to relax

Breathing

Body Techniques

Massage

Yoga

Group may include meditation session

Group may include yoga warm-up

Changemaker Labels

Meditation techniques: breathing-getting centered—mindfulness—

Creative visualizations

Affirmations

Chakra

Aromatherapy

Hypnotherapy

Self-hypnosis

Autogenic training

As the hero in 10 Million Ways to Die says, “I never knew that I lived in a world that I hadn’t created.” That is why the addict experiences such anger at having to give up the addiction. The addict believes that his/her using only affects him/her and is no one else’ business. In reality, the addiction is affecting everyone in the addict’s life.

In the self-discovery model of group healing, everyone in the group is a student. The sharing of power in relationships defines the health of the relationship. No hierarchy is needed when people enter groups to help each other. The leadership of the group can be shared by all on a rotation basis.

The group members in the self-discovery group must agree to follow guidelines that the group chooses. The main goal of the group should be short-term with the idea of splitting up to form new groups. Some people may choose to recycle–repeat the same group–before branching out to their own group. After 2-3 times recycling, the other group members may help with the formation of new group to a group member who needs more support.

The Mental Health Institute claims 20% of the population suffers from mental illness. These people generally can benefit from mental health counseling. In America, with all our wealth, many of these poor souls wander our streets as the homeless. They have no medical insurance so mental health care is a sometime thing. Since most of the population isn’t mentally ill, education groups can be a great source of comfort and growth for those not needing therapy.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Other twelve-step groups have modified the twelve steps slightly from those of Alcoholics Anonymous to refer to problems other than alcoholism.